Do not be Florida man
Florida is not the most populous state but it leads the nation in ridiculous mishaps, usually attributed by headline writers to “Florida man.”
For example, on Christmas Eve the Gainesville Sun reported:
FLORIDA MAN FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFE AFTER CHASING MONKEY
“DESTIN — A Florida man now living in Bali is fighting for his life after he fell from a roof while chasing a monkey that had stolen his favorite Pittsburgh Steelers cap.”
Typically for a Florida man report, there is the unexplained reference to something like “now living in Bali.”
Also unanswered is the question, would he have chased the monkey for his second-favorite Steelers cap? How many Steelers caps does he own?
My favorite Florida man story was about a burglar who was being chased by police. He jumped into a lake to escape where an alligator ate him.