Too dumb to play

Well, we always dreaded this day would come and now that it has finally happened, we are embarrassed and sad:

We are officially too stupid to watch a television game show.

As of this writing, we have watched a show called the “Million Second Quiz” for three straight nights on NBC and we don’t have a clue what is going on. There are things like the “Money Chair,” “Line Jumpers” and “Winners’ Row.” How they relate to each other is anybody’s guess and we are dumbfounded every night we put the program on.

For example, we understand that one can make money only when occupying the Money Chair. But the person who was occupying the Money Chair at the end of last night’s show isn’t there tonight – where did he go? Where did the new guy come from?

How do you get to Winners’ Row? It looks like every time someone loses the Money Chair he goes home with nothing so how did those four folks end up on Winners’ Row? They must have lost a “bout” in the Money Chair or they’d still be sitting there, right? So why did they get to keep their money and move on to Winners’ Row?

Every night we tune in, sure there is going to be an “Aha!” moment when we catch on to how the game is played. So far, though, the only moments we’ve had are of the slack-jawed “What the devil?” kind.

We understand that NBC wanted to create an “Event’ to kick off its new season. Judging from the “Million Second Quiz’s” ratings, what has been created is an event right up there with the Titanic’s first crossing of the Atlantic.

So at least we can take solace in the knowledge that we are not the only ones who don’t understand MSQ. It’s too bad. We enjoyed earlier shows like “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire?” and “Deal or No Deal.” By the way, in answer to the two questions posed by the titles of those shows, we did want to be a millionaire and would have taken the first deal that was offered.

For now, though, we have probably given up on MSQ. We yearn for the days when Bob Barker (pre-“Price is Right”) would ask contestants on “Truth or Consequences” questions like:

“What do you call the guy who jumps rope on a ship?” Answer: The Skipper.

The contestant would win two boxes of Lipton’s tea bags. Simple, straightforward . . . and understandable.

* Editorials reflect the opinion of the publisher.