Two to leave off the air

Every year around Super Bowl time there is a bit of a buzz about what commercials will get the most reaction during the big game.

Companies – and advertising agencies – do their creative best to get their spot chosen as the best of the expensive lot that add about a half-hour to the time of the NFL’s championship game.

We’re not certain who will take home the trophy for best commercial but we can name a couple that shouldn’t bother entering.

Almost every night during the news we get into a race with the little woman to see who can mute the television the fastest when the ad for Eliquis comes on. A gray-haired old coot (much like us) drones on and on about the benefits (and the dangers) of taking this blood-thinning medicine.

Meanwhile, his wife sits at the table looking at him adoringly while he bores her silly with his lecture about the medicine he has to take. The commercial ends with the coot shooting baskets out in the driveway with a teenager (possibly their son) while the wife continues the adoring looks out a window.

By the way, the kid has obviously never had a basketball in his hands before the commercial was made. His shot clangs off the top of the backboard and miraculously drops into the basket.

The commercial is a bust for two obvious reasons: No wife has ever looked adoringly at a husband while he lectured her about anything, and no kid has ever shot baskets with a father as boring as this one is.

That said, it is not alone in the bad commercial genre. The latest ad for the Apple iPad Air is the most pretentious (and, seemingly, l-o-n-g) commercial we have ever seen. Titled “What will your verse be?,” it features Walt Whitman quotations by Robin Williams in the movie “Dead Poets Society.”

Honestly, we didn’t know what the ad was about the first time we saw it. It was so tedious we assumed it was something from Microsoft. You know it is pretentious when The New Republic praises the question and the commercial (“What will your verse be?”) thusly:

“It’s a quixotic question to pose to Americans in an uncertain economy where good jobs are hard to find.”

Really? We thought they were just trying to sell tablets.

* Editorials reflect the opinion of the publisher.