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A regular guy or something else?

I used to think I was just a regular guy. I was born white, which now, whether I like it or not, makes me a racist. I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today’s standards makes me a fascist. I am heterosexual, which according to gay folks now makes me a homophobic. I am nonunion, which makes me a traitor to the working class and an ally of big business. I am a Christian, which now labels me as an infidel. I believe in the Second Amendment, which now makes me a member of the vast gun lobby.

I am older than 70, which makes me a useless old man. I think and I reason, therefore I doubt much that the mainstream media tells me, which must make me a reactionary. I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, which makes me a xenophobe. I value my safety and that of my family and I appreciate the police and the legal system, which makes me a right-wing extremist. I believe in hard work, fair play and fair compensation according to each individual’s merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist. I believe in the defense and protection of the homeland for and by all citizens, which now makes me a militant.

I just can’t imagine or understand what’s happened to me so quickly! Funny, it’s all just taken place over the last seven or eight years! I’m now afraid to go into either restroom!

Fred Pieracci

Kihei

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