50 first dates, or more, are on the menu every Tuesday

Speed dating night at Wow-Wee Maui’s Kava Bar & Grill


Ready, set … speed date. That’s exactly what Maui singles have been up to lately at Wow-Wee Maui’s Kava Bar & Grill in Kahului. On any given Tuesday night, the venue is bustling with singles looking for love through a formalized process called speed dating. As its name suggests, this rapid meet-and-greet allows participants to go on several “dates” in one night.

Though speed dating has been popular in other parts of the country for years, the concept is fairly new to Maui. The mastermind behind the event is Wow-Wee Maui’s Kava Bar & Grill owner Mike Capuano, who launched the program in May.

“I don’t like the bar scene anymore because I’ve seen the rejection,” explains Mike. “This is a way where people can feel comfortable and just talk and you don’t have that instant rejection like you do at a bar.”

He adds that many people have turned to the Internet looking for romance, but says there’s no substitute for human-to-human contact. In many cases attraction depends on more than a description or picture of a person, but also physical attraction and chemistry.

“You want to connect with someone and get along with them, but you also have to be attracted to someone for it to really work — it’s part of the whole package,” Mike says.

This fresh take on traditional dating intrigued me — I wanted in. So I called my boyfriend and asked if I could go speed dating. “It’s for work — research purposes only,” I assured him.

The goal of this covert mission was to get a firsthand look at the life of a speed dater. What I found surprised me.

Some movies and television shows have portrayed speed dating as a freakish, scary ordeal. In the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” episode of “Sex and the City,” Miranda pretends to be a stewardess at the event after telling her first few dates that she is a successful lawyer scares them off.

Among the recent big-screen versions is the Date-A-Palooza scene in “The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” where the main character endures an array of awkward moments with potential suitors.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. And in the case of Wow-Wee speed dating, it wasn’t.

Speed dater Amy summed it up saying, “It’s a very warm and friendly way to meet people. And it’s harmless.”

Participants are asked to arrive by 8 p.m. to register and relax before the dating rounds begin. A $5 fee buys you a name tag, table assignment and a goodie bag filled with handy amenities like a packet of gum, chocolate and coupons for medical spa services.

Nervous about the kind of people I’d encounter I turned to Mike for a bit of encouragement. “People come from every walk of life,” he assured me.

By 8:30, event host Dr. Charlie Bennett corralled everyone to the outdoor bar, set the ground rules and rang the starting bell. It becomes quickly apparent that Bennett, a single doctor who runs a medical spa in Paia, is a crucial piece in this dating puzzle. His enthusiasm is contagious and it’s obvious that he’s in his element playing matchmaker.

“Just let go of any fears or anxieties and have a good time,” he tells the group before setting us free.

The logistics are simple: the women grab a seat and wait for the men to come to them. A bell rings every three minutes, signaling it’s time for the next date.

Cocktails flowed throughout the night, giving some that extra boost of liquid courage needed to keep a three-minute conversation going while avoiding moments of awkward silence. That’s not enough time to really get to know a person, but it is enough time to know whether you want to see that person again.

Some people who have never tried speed dating assume its for unattractive losers or weirdoes who have issues. But after scanning the sea of singles, I noticed that many of them were moderately good-looking to attractive. And it turns out Mike was right, I really did meet people from “every walk of life,” including a Web site designer, a County worker, an entrepreneur, a videographer and one guy who referred to himself as a “dirt doctor,” which sounds cooler than soil researcher.

Mike says the event attracts people ranging from 25 to 50 years old. The downfall is that people of all ages are bunched into one big group, leaving some in their mid-20s to mingle with singles of their parents’ generation — and vice-versa.

Speed dating has some obvious advantages to bars or clubs in that everybody is purportedly open to meeting someone.

Dr. Bennett agrees, saying “It’s not like other bars. Everyone’s here to meet other people. You walk in and everyone’s very loose and open.”

But sometimes less is more. In other words, don’t give away too much personal information or speak on taboo topics. Speed dating is probably not the time to rant about an ex, brag (or exaggerate) about your paycheck or talk about any medical conditions. And yes, I heard all of the above throughout the night.

The beauty of speed dating is that you never run the rusk of getting stuck for hours talking to someone you’re just not into. And for those who wouldn’t mind a few extra minutes of quality time, well, there’s always the potential for a second date.

At the end of the night, each person anonymously writes down the individuals they would like to get to know better. The organizers review the submissions and e-mail contact details between couples who mutually selected one another.

“So far we’ve had four matches every time,” Mike says proudly, adding that many people come away with social connections through the event.

“If there’s not a love connection, make it a network connection. It’s a fantastic networking opportunity,” he adds.

Speed dater Mauricio agrees.

“Even if I’m not meeting people I want to date, I’m meeting people I want to be friends with,” he says.

Mauricio admits that he’s “tried everything” to find someone he’s compatible with. He says he was initially hesitant about speed dating, but that he was impressed by the overall experience.

“The biggest surprise was that people were really open and there were so many women. I go to the bar, the ratio is four to one, but there were an even number of men and women here,” he says.

Another woman, Rachelle, says that she has been single for a while and recently decided to jump back into the dating scene.

“I’m trying to be open minded with all my options. I’m in a place where I want to meet somebody and I’m making everything an option,” she says.

For those too shy to slap on a name tag and make small talk for three minutes, there’s the Singles and Mingle happening throughout the night inside the restaurant.

“Whether you come for speed dating or come to just hang out, there’s a great singles vibe throughout the night,” Mike says.

And many agree.

“I think it’s a good platform to get out there and start the dating experience,” says Rachelle. “Maui needs more things like this to bring single people out.”

“I can’t think of a better thing to do on a Tuesday night,” Maurico adds.

Would I do it again? Maybe — for networking purposes. I’d just have to run it by my boyfriend.



• Lehia Apana can be reached at lehia@mauinews.com.