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Wax off: Everything wrong with ‘Karate Kid Legends’

This image released by Sony Pictures shows, (from left) Ralph Macchio, Ben Wang and Jackie Chan in a scene from "Karate Kid: Legends." Jonathan Wenk/Sony Pictures via AP

One of the great joys of Netflix’s “Cobra Kai” series is that, among other positive attributes, the show really gets “The Karate Kid.” The new “Karate Kid: Legends” does not.

I don’t know anyone my age who wasn’t completely taken by the 1984 “The Karate Kid,” about Daniel LaRusso, a skinny, bullied high schooler played by Ralph Macchio who is mentored in the ways of karate by Mr. Miyagi, played by the late, great Pat Morita.

I liked the 1986 sequel, “The Karate Kid, Part II,” even better and heard stories about that production when it filmed in Kahalu’u on Oahu. After that came two more sequels, a Saturday morning cartoon, an action figure line, a 2010 remake starring Jackie Chan and the surprisingly smart and funny “Cobra Kai” series, which just concluded in February.

Is it time to wrap things up for this franchise? Witness “Karate Kid: Legends,” in which Chan’s Mr. Han and Macchio’s LaRusso (the “kid” is now in his 60s) head to New York to give guidance to a bullied Li Fong, played by Ben Wang. Fong is a teen from Beijing, now living in New York with his mother. When Fong is threatened by an aggressive goon and wants to face his tormentor in a tournament, who could possibly give this kid some guidance?

This corny sequel takes so many wrong turns, it almost makes me miss the time Hilary Swank was the new face of this series.

You cannot replace Morita, whose iconic, Oscar-nominated performance is the heart of this series. We miss Morita so much that the flashbacks and references are always welcome. The other essential artist not present is composer Bill Conti, whose score for the first three films is essential (try imagining a “Star Wars” or “Indiana Jones” sequel without its music). Instead of Conti’s soulful music, we get wall-to-wall indifferent and awful pop tunes you’ve never heard of.

The filmmakers remake the original so shamelessly, I was starved for anything new. Well, be careful what you wish for because there’s a subplot with Joshua Jackson as an Italian restaurant owner who Li trains for a boxing match and Jackson’s kitchen training montage would not be out of place in “The Super Mario Bros. Movie.”

In addition to the dreadful music, the fight scenes are shot with shaky camera work, choppy editing and video game-insert stats like “+1” and “power up” as though this were “Scott Pilgrim vs the World.”

Macchio and Chan are rushed into the third act, and we get more training montages, but the film never addresses the potentially provocative idea that Li’s teachers — one who teaches karate and the other who teaches kung fu — may be presenting two very different concepts of martial arts that may cancel each other out. Li’s many failed lessons from the two of them suggests this. Instead, the trio settle on a subway security device as this film’s equivalent of the crane kick. It’s really stupid. By the way, this was filmed in Georgia and Canada and never passes for the Big Apple.

It doesn’t explore the spiritual side of either martial art and overpopulates the story with characters who give audiences busywork while they wait for Chan and Macchio to reappear. All of the central characters (including the bad guy, the love interest and Mom) have no life or purpose outside of the central story. The best scenes in the first three of these movies was LaRusso and Miyagi bonding in surprising ways and building a father-son relationship. Macchio and Morita were playing layered, wounded figures, not mere plot devices.

I liked the rooftop finale and the new “kid” but little else. Since there’s no mention of Jaden Smith’s character from the 2010 remake, infusing Macchio and Chan here is more of an awkward commercial merger than a proper way to shape a sequel.

“Cobra Kai” found a way to build a story in the absence of Mr. Miyagi, whereas “Karate Kid: Legends” is like “Star Trek” without its Spock. Morita, who created a potent character who is still a part of pop culture, became a beloved celebrity and was even a pitchman for First Hawaiian Bank for years. I remember once seeing him doing the “crane kick” on an Oahu parade float.

Mr. Miyagi will always matter, unlike this unfortunate spinoff. Hilary Swank, all is forgiven.

(1 star out of 4)

Barry Wurst II is the founder of the Hawaii Film Critics Society and teaches film classes at University of Hawai’i Maui College.

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