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Howzit?
A Lahaina fire survivor we spoke with this week said he wished people would stop asking how he was doing. The answer, if you really want to know, is not so good.
He and his family escaped the fast-running Aug. 8 blazes with little more than the clothes on their backs. Their flight was chaotic and terrifying. The aftermath has become a mind-numbing bog of standing in lines, filling out paperwork and waiting, lots of waiting. Word is they will soon be able to return to their home to sift through the ashes. He says he hopes it will bring a layer of closure.
The man said he appreciated other people's hand-me-downs after the fire. His family needed shoes and clothes. He admits to wishing the donations matched his kids' tastes and styles. With Christmas approaching, his mind wanders to the gifts he and his wife exchanged through the years, the treasured letters and family photos lost to the flames. There can be no replacing those.
How many times have we asked somebody how they were doing? It is one of the standard greetings on Maui. You both inquire, both usually respond with something simple such as, "good, good," and move on to other topics. Or just move along. The man we spoke with said it's not that simple. The offhand question spurs him to take stock of his situation, to consider all the many challenges facing his family, to wonder if folks really want an honest answer.
While covering the "Fishing for Housing" press conference on Kaanapali Beach last week, we had opportunity to interview several others who lost homes. One was an eloquent Lahaina Intermediate School 8th grader who spoke faster than we could write. She described the stress her family was feeling without permanent housing. She expressed worries about the future. Would they end up sleeping in their car? Would circumstances force them to leave their beloved Lahaina, the land of her kupuna?
At a celebration of life held at a west side beach park earlier this month, we crossed paths with a distraught woman who lost both her parents as well as her home. She said she feared she was going to have to leave Maui.
People are hurting. More than 7,000 were reportedly displaced by the fires that consumed 2,200 structures in Lahaina and 20 in Kula. We hear reports of rising suicide and mental health concerns. The trauma extends beyond those who lost loved ones or were left homeless to include first responders, aid workers and countless others on this island.
We may not have the tools to solve these problems, but we can let those who are suffering know we care. Before asking how somebody is doing, let's make sure to have the time to stop and truly listen to their answer.