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My eight-year-old grandson said, "Goong Goong (Chinese granddad), you soooo old that when you were a kid, 'OLD Navy' was just 'Navy'."
I get no respect.
The other day, a middle-aged supermarket clerk asked me, "Eh, uncle, want help with your bag?" Auwe! Since when did other adults think I look old? When did I get "promoted" from "cuz" or "brah" to "uncle?" So more than a little "habut," (self-loathing) I just retorted, "Eh, no talk about my wife like that." But Ai-yah! More long-lost nephews and nieces keep popping up every time I go shopping!
My body cannot make up its mind. Losing hair where I want hair, gaining long white hairs in weird places everywhere I don't want. Fortunately, only my wife gets to see some of it. Unfortunately, she can't unsee it! Even my white nose hairs are applying for permits.
My wife said, "Watch out for the zookeepers."
I asked, "Huh?! Wha' you mean?"
"They looking for one escaped walrus, and you forgot to trim your nose hairs again."
"No can. The lawn mower stay broke."
But I should be thankful no stranger has called me "kūpuna"--yet. Unless you count the countless political ads saying they are my best friend.
Imua, Kūpuna! You are the most powerful special interest in this election. Everyone should cater to you! Vote!
Leighton Loo
Mililani, Oahu